We're joining Chrysalis for a little Girl Talk for Marriage Monday....join the fun here !!!
I'm trying to be a good example in everything I do...because I know my children are watching our marriage...how we love each other. It's extremely overwhelming to think of all they see...the good, the bad....the ugly. I need to be careful in my words and actions to show my daughter how to love, respect, honor, submit, listen, the list goes on and on. I don't feel able...but God is able!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Prov. 3:5-6
My mother's best marriage advice is sort of the unwritten extension to "leave and cleave." No matter what, I'm not allowed to talk to her about my husband. No matter what else I may "vent" to her about, I'm not allowed to say anything bad about my husband...because we are the new team and must work it out together. She also has been a huge advocate of 1 Cor. 7:5...
"Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
She'll probably be shocked I blogged about this... Sorry, Mom! It is something that maybe some Moms and daughters don't speak of openly but she's been open in telling me that sex is a big part of marriage. It's not a suggestion, it's a command. The right attitude really goes a long way! I'm so glad that she can encourage me in this area. Exhausted Mom's need to be reminded. I only hope that I am blessed with an open relationship with my daughter when she's a married lady.My mother-in-law has passed on some valuable truths lately...of which she's probably unaware. God has handed them some trials lately and it's been interesting to see the effect on their marriage. They have decidedly drawn together to form a team. They have been doing downright cute things for each other. You know, ewww....I mean, awww things! They have always been a caring and gentle couple but lately they seem to do specific little caring things for each other. It is a good example to me as a busy MomE...because I get going so fast it's hard to remember to slow down and be gentle and caring with the little things.
I remember reading in one of favorite MomE books, "Hold You, Mommy" by the dynamic Hilliard/ Autry sisters... about the importance of surrounding yourself with solid Godly girlfriends. If you have sisters that'd be great...but in my case I don't...sooo...Sometimes kids are more comfortable talking with another lady. It's important that they have good relationships with their youth leaders and grandmothers too. I definitely don't want a whole lot of "peer collaboration" on these points. I want my daughter to know where to look in the Bible for these answers...because it is the source for all TRUTH!
John 17:13-17 “But now I come to You; and these things I speak in the world so that they may have My joy made full in themselves. I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth."
10 comments:
You are wise already! A wise woman is a teachable woman and you are surrounded by Godly women on all sides! As an older married Mom, one whose youngest just stared college, it's easy to forget those draining days of being a young mom, worn out and wrung out. Making time for one another, digging into the Word and spending time with God in prayer are sure fire ways to keep your marriage thriving!
Hugs,
Connie
Great post.. I agree perfectly with everything you said. I would say that is one thing that makes me the most nervous about being a parent is that I will be on display and how will I be modeling Christ will be observed 24/7. The thing is that if mom's aren't honest and open with their daughters than daughters will be informed from other sources and influences that may not be positive.... ~ Sarah
Great post. I love the point about "peer collaberation" because it is so true. I often asked a friend's mother or my aunt rather than asking my mom things. I know my friends did the same. Since I, too, don't have sisters I need to build friendships where my daughters can also glean wisdom.
Such a wonderful post.
I love your mom's rule not allowing you to say anything bad about your husband. SMART woman! I also love your point about having many women to talk to. It is important. We can be helpful to someone else at any age, purely because we have an open heart and a good ear.
This is terrific: No matter what, I'm not allowed to talk to her about my husband. No matter what else I may "vent" to her about, I'm not allowed to say anything bad about my husband...because we are the new team and must work it out together. I practice this with my daughter in an unspoken kind of way... maybe I should be more forthright!
I like your advice about surrounding ourselves with Godly girlfriends... people who can encourage us to actually live the Word of God. So key, especially if family is unsaved or unavailable.
Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today, MomE. Hugs!
Ah, yes! Those little eyes and ears soak up so much, don't they? Such a good reminder to live what we teach. It sounds like you have some wonderful examples of married women in your mother and MIL, too.
I loved the point about working things out with each other. Since the day we said "I do", I made a vow to Rob that I would not be "hanging out at the fence post", airing things that go on that are just between us, including with my Mom. It is our mutual job as a married couple to "cover each other's weaknesses"....not display them for the world to see. Great post!
Blessings to you
I am amazed that God can work through me. Praise His name. I love you. Mom
Interesting to see my mom didn't give unique advice. The comments about talking about our husband was a big one for her. She told me he is her son now just as much as I am her daughter and she loves him too much to hear venting. I love her for how she makes my husband feel like a son and never a son in law:)
Thanks for sharing! You seem like a lovely person!
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