Monday, September 8, 2008

Marriage Monday...

I decided to join the bandwagon/permalink from Chrysalis' site once again. I even linked myself all up this time. (Thanks Beckie for the assistance attaching the buttons to my page!)

Chrysalis says- "Essentially, tell us what you've discovered about the importance of romance and intimacy to your marriage."

I've realized that I never fully understood the importance of romance and intimacy in marriage before our children were born. Sure, I liked the romance and intimacy--and sure we probably had more time for it all but NOW I see the importance of "toning down the tension, and tuning up the tenderness." It builds us up and makes us stronger!

We've really committed, after the birth of our second child, to go on a monthly date. I know, I have friends who go weekly--and I'm awed and amazed-- but monthly works best for us. We're both home bodies, bookworms, and self proclaimed time alone in the evenings after the kids are in bed is also wonderful to us. I created a little seating area in our master bedroom and it has become our quiet spot...away from the TV and noise of the ever running dishwasher!

I reached a point where planning everything about the dates was grating on me so I volunteered to set the date and babysitter if he'd plan the date. WOW--was he ever up to the challenge. I now call him my date night guru! Cheap dates or's just good to get out. We focus on each other..and for a tiny bit forget all the responsibilties on our shoulders. We love each other--"Oh yeah, I remember you!"

We've found that regular open conversations about the "tensions" in our lives helps them to not grow to unreasonable levels. Also, tuning into each other and planning to be tender helps us respond better to "stressful" news!

It freaks me out to be considered a "marriage counselor" in any way...but if someone can benefit from the things we do...I'm grateful!


Denise said...

Thanks for sharing, blessings to you.

Connie Marie said...

I love the idea of a quiet spot in your bedroom. I think we need it and began to work towards that, I am inspired to continue to work that out. I love that you enjoy doing the same thing - reading. That in itself is so relaxing and even if you don't talk, being together in the same place is comforting and even looks romantic to those of us looking in on you.
Thanks for sharing, and God bless.

Anna Parido said...

Its great to hear that things can still be romantic after kids. As a newlywed I like to hear how others can make time for romance still :)

TJ and I cant think of much more than starting our only little family soon and its great to hear about what the two of you do to keeps strong.

Thanks for sharing!!

Angela @ Refresh My Soul Blog said...

Great post-date nights are so important.

e-Mom said...

You're doing well! You know what works for the two of you, and that's the key. I really enjoyed your post.

Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today, MomE.

e-Mom :~D

Lori said...

It freaks me out to be considered a "marriage counselor" in any way...but if someone can benefit from the things we do...I'm grateful!

Amen! I loved seeing your little ones when I opened your blog today. they seem very happy.